Excerpts from VOL.1 NO.3 FALL 1995
HAVE A CIGAR
In Tokyo on October 30th, longtime fan and Penguin Post subscriber Mariko Kawate gave birth to a baby girl. Her name? Adelie Penguin Kawate, of course. Both mother and daughter are doing fine.
PENGUINS NOT ON NOAH'S ARK!
After much debate and discussion, an unprecedented coalition of religious groups have come to the conclusion that penguins could not have been on Noah's Ark. Accolding to Rabbi Needlebaum, the spokesman for the interreligious group, it was ruled that penguins could not have been summoned to the Ark since they only spend time on land to molt, breed and lay eggs. Therefore, the 40 day flood and ensuing time it took for the waters to recede would not have jeopardized the species. The Rabbi also added that the Ark was crowded enough--what with the elephants and giraffes and all--and that the penguins most likely ate plenty of White Fish and undoubtedly enjoyed themselves during the flood.
THE DEFINITIVE PENGUIN JOKE
 A man was walking down the street with 20 penguins following him. A policeman came along and said, "What do you think you're doing? Take these animals to the zoo!" The next day, the policeman again saw the man walking with 20 penguins. "Didn't I tell you to bring these penguins to the zoo yesterday?" he said. The man replied, "I did. We had such a good time, today we're going to the beach!"
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